Promoting Regulation in Preschoolers: Nurturing Emotional and Behavioral Skills
Preschoolers are at a stage in their lives when they are learning to navigate the complex world of emotions and social interactions like they never have before; it is all new to them. They are like sponges, absorbing information from their surroundings, and it's a critical time for developing skills related to emotional and behavioral regulation. As adults in their lives, we are their GPS in this journey. It is crucial that adults in their lives model regulation and understand that they are developing this skill, as we all are, but they are not yet skilled at it.
What is Regulation?
Emotional and behavioral regulation is the ability to manage one's emotions, impulses, and behaviors. It is dynamic and complex and involves self-control, empathy, and understanding the impact of one's actions on others. Attachment styles are like blueprints for how we act and feel in relationships, and they come from our early interactions with our main caregivers, usually our parents. These blueprints inform how we see, handle, and control our emotions and behaviors.
Why Is Regulation Important?
Teaching children to understand and manage their feelings helps them express themselves and builds the foundation for healthy relationships. Emotional and behavioral regulation also helps kids handle stress, which is a crucial skill for a happier and healthier life.
Tips for Promoting Regulation in Children:
Model Emotion Regulation: Preschoolers learn by observing. Show them how you manage your own emotions, whether it's dealing with frustration, sadness, or joy. Use language to label your feelings and explain how you manage them. When you are not proud of how you managed your feelings, let your child know that you are working on coping in new and different ways. For example, if you yell at your child, you can calm down and go to them. Apologize. Let them know you got overwhelmed and they do not deserve to be yelled out. Tell them your big feelings took over and next time you want to remember to take a break/deep breath/etc.
Co-regulation: When your child is dysregulated, it is important to stay calm. Their nervous system is on fire and they need yours to re-regulate. Take deep breaths or take a break to ensure that you are regulated. Once you are regulated, your calm presence will help regulate their big emotions. Co-regulation can be challenging, but it serves as the foundation for independent self-regulation. You are wiring their brain for coping and connection.
Teach Emotional Vocabulary: Introduce a wide range of emotional words to your child. Discuss what each emotion feels like in their body. See the previously written blog on this topic for ideas! This gives them the words they need to express how they are feeling without a big emotional or behavioral response.
Create a Safe Environment: Children need to feel safe to express their emotions. Respond to their distress with warmth and understanding, offering comfort and reassurance. There is no need to fix the problem in the moment. Breath, breath again, and stay calm.
Offer Problem-Solving Opportunities: When conflicts arise and if the child is calm, guide them through problem-solving exercises. Help them understand different perspectives, brainstorm solutions, repair, and evaluate outcomes. This empowers them to resolve conflicts independently. More to come on this soon!
Establish Routines: Predictable routines provide stability and comfort. Knowing what to expect and having a schedule can help reduce anxiety and meltdowns.
Be Patient: Remember that learning emotional and behavioral regulation is a process. Toddlers and preschoolers will make many mistakes, and it's essential to be patient and offer guidance and support as they grow.
Supporting regulation is an essential part of their early development. These skills lay the foundation for a lifetime of emotional well-being, positive relationships, and academic success. By creating a nurturing environment, modeling appropriate behavior, and providing opportunities for growth, we can help our little ones navigate the world of emotions with confidence and resilience.
If your child needs support with regulation or you could use support managing their meltdowns, reach out to dr.megan@collectivegrowthpdx.com.
